Something in the Water (Does Not Compute)

After I wrote about my disappointment with Prince’s halftime show at the Super Bowl, Rob commented that he was “waiting for him to slip and fall.” Some people (not Susannah) had a problem with Prince’s talent for shadow puppetry (which has me ready to tear my hair out in chunks and scream at our culture’s sudden collective lack of humor [quickie rant]).

Me, I was worried that the dude was going to be electrocuted on stage.

Instead of covering “All Along the Watchtower,” Prince probably should’ve included “Danger! High Voltage” in his medley. Of course, I really didn’t want to see that (possible electrocution, I mean – not an Electric Six tribute), yet that fear was enough to keep my from changing the channel.

How did that not happen? Was the lunch lady bandana around Prince’s head made of rubber? Slate’s Torie Bosch doesn’t confirm or dispute that theory, but provides a much more valid answer in the “Explainer” column: Prince went wireless.

Battery-powered wireless microphones, guitars, and other gear keep performers isolated from potentially dangerous electrical current. To get a shock, you have to become part of an electrical circuit between a high-voltage source —like a power line— and the ground (or a grounded object, like a ladder). Without coming into contact with both, you can’t be electrocuted, which is why birds on power lines don’t get fried. It’s also one of the reasons why wireless equipment keeps performers safe in the rain—if you’re not physically connected to the current, you can’t get shocked.

Well, that certainly makes sense. But a rubber headband just sounds more sexy. And I think we all know which way Prince would lean on that one.

Does this taste funny to you?

If you’ve ever wondered how much mouse poison it would take to kill a human being (and hopefully, such a thought has never occurred to you), Brendan I. Koerner is here to help yet again in Slate’s “Explainer” column.

And if you’re curious as to why Koerner felt the need to answer such a question, check out this story. A 15-year old Wisconsin kid had tried to kill his family by exactly such a method. The lesson to be learned here? Inspect your coffee grounds carefully.

How "Embarrass"-ing

I’m glad someone else was wondering how the town of Embarrass, Minnesota (of recent 54 degrees below zero fame) got its name. More specifically, I’m glad Brendan I. Koerner of Slate’s “Explainer” column had the same question and provided the answer.

During the 17oos, French priests and fur trappers, along with French-Canadian lumberjacks had trouble navigating the river running through that part of Minnesota. As a result, they called the area Rivière d’Embarras, which translates into “River of Obstacles” or “River of Obstructions.” The name evolved into the Embarrass River, and when the Finnish settled in around the early 1900s, they liked the name (perhaps not knowing what the English translation meant) and kept it. Oui oui, Mr. Koerner.

But I really wanted fries with that

This is the Virgin Mary? Really? In a @#$%-ING GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH??

But hey, the lady holding onto this sandwich for 10 years got $28,000 for it on eBay, so who’s the sucker?

That looks more like Marlene Dietrich to me. It’s a good thing I wasn’t with Diana Duyser when she ordered that sandwich. Not too many unfinished sandwiches sit around when I’m at the table.

How did the thing never get moldy? Brendan I. Koerner, who’s scratched so many of my intellectual itches, explains all in his outstanding Explainer column for Slate.

You know, I’ve always thought my aunt’s stuffing was heavenly. I’ll be looking for Moses in every spoonful tomorrow.