Hello, Meryl Streep!

At the very end of her Golden Globes award acceptance speech (winning “Best Actress – Comedy or Musical” for her role in The Devil Wears Prada), Meryl Streep implored viewers to ask their local theater owners to show little-seen films, such as Little Children and Pan’s Labyrinth.

Earlier in the day, mere hours beforehand, I lamented all of the films I either neglected or didn’t get to see in 2006 – which included Little Children and Pan’s Labyrinth.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a transcript or video clip of Streep’s speech to add authenticity to this post. I figured it would pop up on YouTube at some point today, because everything’s on YouTube. I spent all day waiting for that pirated affirmation. Instead I can only post links to quotes, leaving my desire unrequited.

Anyway, you see where I’m going with this, right? Is it that big of a stretch to presume that Meryl Streep has jumped into the wok, and is reading Fried Rice Thoughts? (I know – I’m working on something better than “jumped into the wok.”)

Had I known that Ms. Streep might echo my thoughts so closely later in the evening, I probably would’ve just posted an ode to Emily Blunt. I might record the replay of the Golden Globes on Saturday, just so I can watch her turn around in that dress again. That, my dear friends and readers, was a brilliant bottom. (She said the dress felt like “a spank.” That saucy little minx has ruined me for months.)

So welcome, Meryl Streep! It’s truly a pleasure to have you reading my ramblings. You wuz da bomb in Prada, yo! And if you could do me a favor, could you call my local art theaters and see what you can do about getting us some of those movies?

▪▪ One more note: It probably goes without saying, and there have been other memorable speeches at the Golden Globes, but Sacha Baron Cohen’s acceptance speech was quite possibly the best ever, wasn’t it? I imagine everyone who saw Borat hoped he’d be eventually rewarded for that horrifying naked wrestling match (if they didn’t cover their eyes during that scene).

Scarlett who? Nope, didn’t see it.

I’ve been told by the Fried Rice Thoughts Board of Directors that I’m approximately four Scarlett Johansson blog entries away from being issued a restraining order. So I’m hesitant to address this particular topic. But I received several overnight e-mails concerning Ms. Scarlett and her Golden Globes attire for last night’s Golden Globes award show, so it seems only polite to respond here.

Hell yes, I saw that! I almost incurred serious injury while walking by the TV when she appeared on the red carpet. Sweet sassy molassey. There are moments in this life when men are truly happy to be men. Scarlett Johansson created one of them last night. My knees are buckling, just thinking about it.

I should also announce at this time that I would like to give up my dreams of finding gainful employment as a writer, in favor of aspiring to become a gay red carpet correspondent, a la Isaac Mizrahi on E! last night. After asking Ms. Scarlett what sort of underwear she was wearing (to which she responded, “Very little. It’s built into the dress.”), Mizrahi confirmed this curiosity in dress design with his own hands. Literally. The man felt up Scarlett Johansson right there on the red carpet. Men have gotten thrown in jail for lesser groping instances.

Right then and there, I had a new hero.

I flipped between the Golden Globe Awards and 24 last night, so missed several other water cooler moments, such as drunk Harrison Ford. I’ll try to catch the rerun this weekend on Bravo. But glancing at the list of winners makes me happy, as Walk the Line, Brokeback Mountain, and Capote each received well-deserved awards. And the Fried Rice Thoughts offices are very pleased with Hugh Laurie winning for his work on House.

▪▪ Here’s Gothamist’s live blog of the show.

▪▪ And Defamer has some great screen captures to check out. (And not all of them involve cleavage.)